And into the forest I go to lose
my mind and find my soul
- John Muir

During my childhood, I lived in a farmhouse surrounded by fir trees and mixed forests that housed lynxes, bears, and wolves. At the age of three, my grandparents, who managed the farmhouse, allowed me to wander freely in the woods. The trees around me provided a sense of safety and support. They always listened to me, sheltered me, and made me feel protected.

I chose my life path based on the system I was born into. I was born in the Soviet Union where the individual was not considered important, and all choices were made by the system itself. In the early 1990s, the Soviet Union fell apart, and an independent country emerged, creating a disruption in the system. The following years were chaotic and unpredictable, with a lot of destruction, disruption, violence, and separation. The previous system that supported the people was no longer there. What does it mean for a person to change their system, coming from communism and totalitarianism to individualism and democracy? How does it feel when suddenly you are asked to claim your place and opinion when, up to that time, you as an individual did not exist?

I was a teenager when the country I was born into was also a teenager. We grew together, and when the time came to make choices, I chose safety over expressing my own voice. At this time, I did not perceive my individual light and its place in the new system.


I studied telecommunications and became an engineer because the systems in this reality made sense. There were structures and rules in place, and it was easy to follow them. As there was a lack of engineers and even fewer women working in technology, there were more than enough empty places to fill.


Only ten years later, after enjoying traveling Europe and living in different countries, I started to realize that an empty space doesn’t mean that I need to fill it. The signs were there before, but I didn’t wish to act on them – changing my position in the system didn’t feel safe. Two years after I started to work as an engineer, I felt a strong call to walk 800km on the Camino de Santiago. I was only 23 at the time, and walking alone in a foreign language environment without a smartphone (yes, it was the time of maps and buttons) felt unsafe. It felt even scarier to share this pull with my family and get their blessing. I felt loads of guilt, causing them worries – my loyalty to them was strong. The moment I shared my wish, the signs around me started to appear to support me on this journey.


The moment I arrived, I felt fully in the right place. At this moment and on this journey, I felt filled with light and joy, and everything around me supported me in this decision. I realized that this state of being can be our normal companion if we choose our place in a way that we fit there.


Every system needs to be in balance, so even if I didn’t feel passion when I worked with Excel files, I loved traveling, adapting, and learning from teams around Europe, building systems for remote teams to flourish and noticing the different dynamics taking place in different companies. I was in a consultant role that allowed me to work with more than 10 different telecommunication operators in Europe and Russia.


I also learned to balance myself in this quite masculine environment by learning floristics on the side. I learned that I love to be in a position where I create a balanced space for other humans. Yoga was another softer and more dynamic energy that balanced the world that was explainable by numbers and science. I noticed that there is much more than our eyes can see or our minds can comprehend. Something abstract that can be felt if you allow yourself to step back from your beliefs and just be available. Before returning from my last work trip, which lasted for two years in Switzerland, I felt that I was ready to explore the world from a new angle and I immersed myself in yoga, breathing, and meditation. I learned that behind the flow of joy I am seeking is connection. I learned that healing from emotional trauma can start from noticing and accepting the shape it left in my body. And I learned there is nowhere to run – if I wish to grow and claim my space where I am most in my flow, I need to acknowledge my limitations, traumas, bonds, disassociations, and for once accept them without changing or fixing them. Only in acceptance can they have enough space to start moving and changing naturally.


I decided it was time to start carving my own space, which meant putting the safety provided by an existing system behind me. I took a year to experiment, mapping the areas that made me feel full of life and joy. I realized I love natural raw food – cutting avocados in half brought to me the sun they contained; foraging in the forest allowed me to feel the connection the mushrooms and berries had with the mossy green surroundings; collecting herbs in the fields brought their healing through the fragrance they shared; growing tomatoes and aubergines as flowers on my windows gave me an understanding of how much connection it brings to see a simple magic like the circle of life, where there is an inhale when a plant grows from seed to the beautiful being that provides and an exhale when it slowly moves back to earth.


I realized I love nature, and long-distance hiking with deep immersion in nature is the way for me to see clearly. I also felt a calling to protect the beauty around. I started to work for an environmental organization. I perceived myself still as an engineer, and thankfully, I was offered a role that allowed me to position myself not too far from my perceived place. We developed an app to mark the locations of waste in the environment to collect data and prepare for the Day. I was positioned between technology and communities, bringing the links together and supporting the system to be created. I still felt lost as my role was not defined, and I had never realized that I can and need to claim and carve my own space. Eventually, it happened naturally, though with quite some discomfort. I started to lead the mapping communities around the world while also building a back-office volunteer team to support this system. I was not exceptionally good at it, and I felt torn apart, as there was no one giving me any instructions while the expectations were high. What I realized I enjoyed was building these support systems to allow the process to happen.


I moved on with my explorations. I was teaching yoga and built a concept for a self-sustainable off-grid community in Panama and Costa Rica. I learned that my family is behind my back, and in order to feel this connection, I need to acknowledge and nurture it. I also learned that I feel most joyful when I’m creating, surrounded by nature with stars above me and cicadas singing. I built a forest garden there in the place of a construction waste site. Building the system from scratch was rewarding beyond measure – collecting the soil and leaves to create a nutritional base; choosing the plants that imitate the natural system in the forest. When it started growing, it felt like magic. Each year, I receive pictures of it, and I can see how each plant has taken its shape and place and changed according to its needs.


When I returned, I started to work as a consultant again. I realized that one of the main limitations I had with carving my place was the lack of my voice. In the Soviet Union, people were quiet – it was unsafe to talk, especially if it went against the system. In my school, students were considered as children up to the 10th grade who didn’t know anything, and whose voice was not important. I started working on my public speaking skills, as my role as the leader of the mapping community involved speaking with the public in conferences, workshops, interviews, etc. I saw how my voice started to take shape – how the tone of my voice deepened; how I grounded myself in front of people, not following the pressure to start speaking immediately but allowing the words to come to me through relaxation and grounding. I trained my voice to be heard at the other end of the room without raising it. I started to work for an organization, which focuses on giving a voice to young people in decision-making. I saw so many young people carving their positions and sharing their opinions without allowing the system to tell them that they are still children with unimportant thoughts and opinions. I noticed how straight the physical shape of a person is when the mind and body are aligned. I learned that anyone can be anything they want. The only condition is to be in tune and aligned with yourself, which, in turn, will pull everything else that is in harmony toward you. When we live in alignment, we are the creators of our lives.


And finally, I found my own place fully – the one that connected all of my learnings and brought me fully into my body. I realized that as I grew up, in order to feel safe, I had built antennas all around my body to sense what was happening in the room and in the emotional state of other beings. I realized that as a grown-up, I am able to perceive the emotional state of the florist who created the flower arrangements in the room where I attended a wedding or the feelings from the person who sat in my seat on the plane before me. I noticed I can feel other people’s emotions within my body, and I’m able to perceive where the story is stored. I studied coaching, bodywork, and systemic work that helps to perceive where the repeating patterns are coming from.


In my work as a coach, I use a lot of embodiment practices because problems at the mind level are often too stuck and overanalyzed. We aim to perceive new perspectives of the ‘old’ because it’s important to become unstuck and acknowledge what we are facing, creating new connections. I am not here to solve your problems but to reflect and hold a safe space for exploration. I am not a therapist who delves deep into your trauma but a coach who helps you acknowledge your systems, create connections, and choose which path you wish to take to claim your space in your life.


I’m here now for you to help make the necessary adjustments, to stand beside you, to listen to you, to be your strength, mirror, and guidance. I’m here to listen without judgment, whether in your light or shadow sides. And I am grateful that your presence will be a part of my journey as well.


At Lumiways, we help create space in your life and your mind before we begin supporting you in problem-solving. A space where you feel belonging, alignment, and connection. Where you can be creative, manifest freely, and hear your intuition. And from this space, it is possible to work on your dreams. We move from the analytical to the somatic – from the brain to the heart and body. Nature is our partner and healer in this equation, as it comforts us and calms our nervous system.